It's My Race to Win

Part of relocating included trying to find a church in which we would belong. We didn't want to go through this process as Lone Rangers - we needed friendships and accountability. By the end of our fourth month of searching, we stumbled upon a church called Truth North in Garner. Each teaching series has put it's finger on an area that needed our attention. Our plans versus God's plans, finances, intimacy as a couple, and now a challenge - to read the New Testament in a month. During this challenge, I've frequently read about running the race, endurance, progress, pressing on toward the goal, and victory. Our lives are, in essence, a marathon. It isn't a short course, but a long distance one.

Shortly after we moved, both my husband and I started running. My reason was to get into better physical shape as I had put everyone and everything else ahead of my fitness. And if I'm honest, I allowed laziness to rule in my life. Little did I know, my time walking and running through our subdivision would be sweet time where the Lord would talk to me. It is often during my walk/runs when He reveals insight to me. Most of the time it's an inward revelation, sometimes I see what's going on with my loved ones, and at times I get clarity on things that are going on in the culture around me. Regardless of what it is, or who it is about, I gain wisdom that I didn't have before.

A few months ago, I had a dream that I jumped into a half-marathon that my husband was set to run in. There was no real start to the race, I just started running. I kept thinking, "Why am I doing this? I'm not a runner. I didn't train for this and I can't finish it!" Once I got into the race, it wasn't a traditional race. It was through the woods - all terrain-like. As I kept running I realized it wasn't so bad. I could TOTALLY do it and do it well!  But it was a dream.

One of my sweetest friends here loves to run. She took it up during a difficult time in her life and has enjoyed running 5k's and half marathons ever since. It became a passion for her and an outlet. Two weeks ago she invited me along to run in a 5k with her. I was a bit unsure of running in an organized race - with people - and being timed - and on turf I've never seen before. But because I'm in boot camp and because I love my friend, I accepted her invitation. This race would be a challenge for me physically as I have found my running pace for slight distance running (3 miles) only a week ago. Before that, running and walking intervals was all I could do.

My nerves were on edge this week just thinking about this race. Here I am preparing for our first trip back to Maine as a family - which has brought out logistical and emotional fears and I was about to push my body to a place it's never been.

We got to the race location and I saw a lot of people looking like they've done this a million times, or at least I assumed they had. It felt awkward and I just wanted the race to start so I wouldn't feel the torture of anticipation. At the starting line, my friend and I decided we would run together. I was glad - I had no idea what I was doing. Fish out of water is an understatement. Organizers of the event started the race over loudspeaker and I was off. My music was on and I began to get a better picture of what the next 3.2 miles would be like. When I agreed to run in this 5k, I had no idea what the terrain would be and as I ran, I realized this looked similar to what I saw in my dream. I was running on a path through the woods. It was awesome.

The last part of the race brought the mental and physical challenge. It seemed like it would never end and I had nothing left in me. I realized the finish line was coming up and based on conversations I've had with people who have run races, I expected to feel an overwhelming burst of energy. Nope. Nothing. I had not an ounce to give. I wanted to stop. I nearly gave myself permission to walk the rest of the way. Then I started praying. I asked the Lord for His energy. I desperately wanted to finish what I started. That's when I cranked my music as loud as I could stand it. A worship song played singing something about running to the Lord. Perfect. That's when I heard, "This represents what you typically do in your life - you get to the end of something and quit. You stop short of accomplishment." That gave me the energy to keep going.

With about a tenth of a mile left, my friend looked over at me and she mouthed something about going hard the rest of the way. I knew I needed to go for it so I took off and pushed my body through the finish line. I couldn't believe I had finished. I felt like I had broken through mental and physical barriers that have been around me my entire life. Barriers that I chose to put there. These blockades served to keep me from venturing out too far - and fail at something. God has given me a race to run. It may look completely different from anyone else's race. But it's my race and I am going to be held accountable to that race and how I choose to run it. Will I play it safe or will I go for it and risk failure?